Boing.

שיר למדבר

2012-01-08T05:34:00.004-05:00

אשיר אליך יא מדבר

מדבריה

אשיר בקול

בלחש

כולי חליל

אתגעגע אליך יא מדבר

מדבריה

אשיר

אצעק בדום

כולי בכיה

ארקוד אליך יא מדבר

מדבריה

אצחק

צריחה נשמתי

קטלני

ואחזור אליך

אחזור אליך יא מדבר

מדבריה

כולי

חיוך קטן

מעבר

:')

יט כסלו ירושלים

2011-12-14T16:08:00.003-05:00

i want nothing

איד וויל ניט דיין ג"ע

איך וויל ניט דיין עוה"ב

איך וויל מער ניט אז דיך אליין

הודו לה כי טוב

2011-11-27T17:53:00.002-05:00

שערי צדק בית הרחמים

אני ה

וכתבינו איי בספר החיים

איי איי אייייייי למענך אלוהים

חיים

לרפואה שלימה לרב מנחם יהושוע בן לאה רייזל

דין ורחמים...למחוא כפיים

תפילה

להגיע לרחמים

~ ר"ח כסלו

tears of a phoenix

2011-10-11T19:19:00.001-04:00

fly
spread your wings
my love.
cry
my tears, my
gentle breath
is yours
if
you'll have it

funniest old findings

2011-09-21T16:09:00.002-04:00

Writing is hard in the springtime

heart open running free wild, that

confining my fingers

to sport that lingers just

right above paper is close

to sinful

Alas

air's fresh

earth's breathing

drop your pen, jump in sweet flight

open

loosen

eyes

groovin

the sky will be ok without the clouds

Blue blue child, the green and purple's open

and yellow is coming to share her cupcakes

with you

Rainbow color-ed sprinkles sprawl in fluffy white

frosting

pinky cotton marshmallows

wave,

hello

in the shadow of

2011-07-31T13:11:00.003-04:00

The key, I believe, is to make ourselves lighter, less thick, more apt to transmit divine light. The weight of cynicism and pretense would have to be cast off. Instead, we should show our true faces. In brief, we owe it to Heaven to give of ourselves, to such an extent that we disappear a bit. The idea is to come to a point that we diminish our presence in such a manner as to thin the air, to the point that the divine reality outshines the false beauty of the idol.

~ The Possible Man: Meir Michel Abehsara

in ode to unhealthy breaky in suns. bless. sweet. choco chip. u.

baby lady miracles

2011-07-27T00:10:00.002-04:00

open

pure

good(nesses)

ohpen

miracle

open(ing)(s)

(with)in(side)

ah!

:')

ah tatteh

non-ess-ish

2011-07-12T06:35:00.001-04:00

sweet

love-light

(ulai)?

ulai, ulai tirkod iti

flow mo(ve)ments

2011-06-15T18:25:00.004-04:00

for one month I read torah

for one month I sketched, things

for one month I took out my headphones

(well, more like a year)

for one month I watched

(perhaps all my life)

for these few weeks I danced

(I felt your music)

for one month I drank coffee

for eight months I worked

I craved (study)

I waited, I longed (for someone?)

I smiled (was at ease)

I rode a roller coaster (with loops, I tell ya)

I trusted, I never trusted

I did both (at once)

silence. noise

leave her alone (and)

embrace her (now)

Hold me closer tiny dancer..don't count headlights..you had a busy day today..

"What goes around comes around. Today, you help me..one day, someone else'll help you.. So please, if you'd like to make a purchase, or a small donation..."

[Trail off subway. Close curtains.]

2011-06-15T18:19:00.002-04:00

לומדים לשתוק, ושוכחים שגם צריך

לדבר

לפעמים

ולא הרבה

אבל צריך

אלא אם מתפוצצים קודם

2011-06-07T00:58:00.000-04:00

it's like

maybe if i don't speak

it'll be like i don't exist

אכסוף

2011-05-20T12:06:00.003-04:00

this nigun changed my life...and life...

is ever changing

rak brachot alechem...

tamid

shabbat

ahava

frame the halves

2011-05-19T11:50:00.003-04:00

there's nothing more whole...

hinei

ani matchila lishmoa

...

ha'tze'adim shel Rabbi Shimon

your words are poetry

2011-05-19T08:43:00.001-04:00

yuknow?

2011-05-11T19:16:00.000-04:00

האמת היא, לא היה קשור נשיקה או פרפר

היתה פה הבנה בשתיקה

שרק עולה כשנותנים לשתיקה לדבר

being here

2011-05-03T11:00:00.001-04:00

is notedly different than

being back

thank gd

פרידה

2011-05-03T06:00:00.002-04:00

מה זאת היתה

אם רק נשיקת פרפר

וגם זאת היתה מספיק להבין

מה היה

ואולי יותר

בלי קליפות עם קליפות לחיים ולברכה.

2011-03-21T03:06:00.001-04:00

עד דלא ידע

2011-03-15T15:36:00.004-04:00

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,

there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense.

~Rumi

Perhaps Purim is testimony to that space...beyond the structures of the world, where evil is blessed and good is cursed, where evil and good aren't opposing forces, but are all simply elements of atzmut... and that, there is emet.

And that is why this olam is an olam of sheker, because it is a structure bearing false testimony to its essence, hiding behind dichotomies of good and evil...

On Purim we're encouraged to tap into that emet, to realize that essentially, the dichotomy set up in this world is only one layer of existence, and while that duality is necessary for this world to exist (and even for us to dance with the idea that truth exists)...it is not the essence of what is really at the core of our cosmos. At the core is emet, כחשיכה כאורה...where what we call "good" and "bad" are merely all part of the big, wild, infinite blur of atzmut.

Interesting.. the words עד דלא ידע. It seems that we are being called to lose the יודעת part of us, the self, the conscious, the me that wants to know, in order to understand. We are called to enter a space that is beyond the limited consciousness that relies on structure in order to exist...

to frolic in that grass beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, where even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense...

ז' אדר

2011-03-13T22:37:00.003-04:00

sadness doesn't need to mean heaviness

ode to a Pur sheHu Goral

to nights of mo(u)rning

and missingness of

then

now

tomorrow

lchaim ulivracha

lchaim ulivracha!

שר לבדו

2011-03-10T11:43:00.003-05:00

חופים הם לפעמים געגועים לנחל.
ראיתי פעם חוף
שנחל עזבו
עם לב שבור של חול ואבן.
והאדם, והאדם הוא לפעמים גם כן יכול
להישאר נטוש ובלי כוחות
ממש כמו חוף.

גם הצדפים
כמו חופים, כמו הרוח
גם הצדפים הם לפעמים געגועים
לבית שתמיד אהבנו
אשר היה ורק הים
שר לבדו שם את שיריו.

כך בין צדפי ליבו של האדם שרים לו נעוריו.

~נתן יונתן

arik ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMLs_0XgC5I&tracker=False

orig ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZNEBp2_x0Y&tracker=False

achen, hadma'ot bikshu et chava alberstein

a-malek

2011-03-09T18:15:00.001-05:00

But the Romans had not reckoned with the sun.

Each morning it rose, brighter and hotter than the day before.

manto.

2011-03-09T18:04:00.003-05:00

Yet, she had wanted him - of that he was certain.

In his life he had known dutifulness, remote yearnings, but never, until that afternoon, the full awakening of passion and a gratification which had left him fulfilled yet still avid. Meantime, fragments of epigram and doctrine, the splinters of the hard old morality of his youth pricked at his fevered conscience.

-----------

Then in the fierceness of his need, there came to him from the vanished yesterdays of his youth verses instinct with an understanding softer than the sharp-lined wisdom of the Greeks. And never had he wanted so desperately to believe as in this hour when she leaned upon a faith he did not possess.

Holding her to himself he spoke of the gentle Shepherd Who leads men beside still waters causing them to walk unhurt through the valley of the shadow, Who cannot be fled, not in the grave, not even if one were to take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea.

She listened and like a child, insatiable of some marvelous tale and reluctant of slumber, asked for more.

My heart is not haughty he quoted nor mine eyes lofty. Neither do I exercise myself in things too great, too wonderful for me. Surely I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a child with his mother, like a child is my soul within me.

With that Manto's body sagged in his arms and, after a moment, muffled sobs escaped him.

face

2011-03-09T17:55:00.005-05:00

straight black hair with a touch of gray, clear blue eyes, good nose, strong chin, tall, slender, and - Pappas paused in his inventory - most important of all, an intellectual face with just enough of a look of suffering to make it interesting.

yes - he concluded as they left the terrace - I would wager that she will like you.

haunt my soul, heal

2011-02-10T22:10:00.003-05:00

heal rav menachem, hashem.

downupdownupdownupupupupup up

danceup move jump breathe UP

I was there, some (much) how

bless you, m, for sharing this in bits

soothe

2011-02-03T22:59:00.003-05:00

me.

write me a love note to me on my leg about my being light for me and not ever being able to take that away

not even with soap

scrub

but memememememememememe

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

ich

ani

me, goddarnit

why are there so many parts, and why are those parts so blessed and light and fractured in this brilliant puzzle way that they fail to f-i-t in any one zone, on any one leg love note in pen

past shabbat of wonder-filled-ful

2011-02-03T22:54:00.004-05:00

a list of catch upedness, so as not to forget, but also not misrepresent

the present

thank you for open channels that tighten the closed ones ever more so

thank you for prayer that lightliftshigher and i s o l a t e s

beyond what I -

who am I to

even

have a say

g(r)asping

2011-01-25T20:48:00.003-05:00

at threads

(as if) (pretending)

beyond my reach

playing

(as if) (seducing)

that

within

my reach

(b)reach

no, truth,

prevail.

ברוך אתה ה

2011-01-23T04:09:00.001-05:00

it was :')

ברוך אתה ה

הוא גיטרה, היא כינור

2011-01-03T10:39:00.001-05:00

for normally deleted beauties. missing radioblog with their non-assuming sweet embeds.

alas.

leaves driven, and driven leaves

driven lives

leaf

life

leave.s.

man, it's been winter awhile.

parentheses

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_DTu4xmcWI

תָּאִיר כְּאוֹר יוֹם

2010-12-07T08:48:00.003-05:00

חֶשְׁכַּת לַיְלָה

incredible how dark it's got to be to see some light. even daylight.

so many chanukah joy and pain filled songs to breathe, hear, sing.

קָרֵב יוֹם אֲשֶׁר הוּא לֹא יוֹם וְלֹֹא לַיְלָה,
רָם הוֹדַע כִּי לְךָ הַיוֹם אַף לְךָ הַלַּיְלָה,
שׁוֹמְרִים הַפְקֵד לְעִירְךָ כָּל הַיוֹם וְכָל הַלַּיְלָה,
תָּאִיר כְּאוֹר יוֹם חֶשְׁכַּת לַיְלָה

חנוכה מואר

truly, deeply

in light(ness)

אלא נסתר

2010-11-29T10:42:00.003-05:00

casting away a diamond that was not yet mine. wheat, sustenance, it needs to be earned in order to feed me

מעיין חיי

בנקיק נסתר בצוקים

איילה שותה מים

מה לי ולה

אלא צוקי ליבי

אלא מעיין חיי

אלא נסתר

איילה מה לי ולה

אלא אהבתי

~ לאה גולדברג

.

2010-11-24T13:51:00.001-05:00

to understanding.

days within my walls

2010-11-18T16:47:00.003-05:00

כאן בין כל קירות ביתי
שתיקה גדולה

אפורה ומנחמת...

ואין משב סופה
ואין גשם שישטוף
ואין גם צוהר שיבהיל
ואין דבר אשר ישרוף את כל קירות ביתי
הכל הרי מוגן...

ואין כאב שיישאר
כי כל קירות ביתי
הם לובן מנחם
ואין כתמים של דם וחבלות
שריטות בלב...

אין באמצע...תנני לי ללכת

2010-11-14T10:40:00.004-05:00

fall leaves

winter beckons

מי am i

;')

באת אלי את עיניי לפקוח.

היום

2010-10-22T12:17:00.004-04:00

טוב,
ליל מנוחה וחלום, כבר מאוחר
ומחר נקום ונראה
איך שמגיע היום בסוף כל לילה.

at 1:00

טוב,
חושך נפל על הרחוב
רק הירח משאיר את אורו הצהוב
צרצר מצרצר צירצורו שר -
לילה טוב...

תקיעה

2010-09-14T06:13:00.000-04:00

just seeing
looking
wide-eyed
happy-eyed
excited to be draft 2/14/08

דום

2010-09-14T05:59:00.003-04:00

לשון המתנה
but don't rush, really. im in no rush.

דם
לדום

אהיה

?התשמע קולי

2010-09-04T20:28:00.003-04:00

קול קורא בעוז קול בוכה בדמי

באהבה, בעוז, בשמחה
open eyes, looking forward
c

"חשכה בתורה"

2010-08-31T09:05:00.001-04:00

חשכה בבכי

at midai basechel

2010-08-09T03:42:00.002-04:00

	Bob Dylan - Let Me Die In My Footsteps .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

mah zeh hadavar hazeh, ani mitgaagat layeshiva
mitgaagat, mitahevet, mitalev, mitbalbelet, mitlabetet, mitgaagat
me'od
taasi shchuna

a serene day

2010-07-12T01:25:00.000-04:00

of summer of white, plains high, lines world, cups and healthyish, mathematical talk that reminded my soul of imaginative other dimensions. truer, closer ones. plus surprise spontaneous hugs from precious sisters. thankful and thank you and im sorry, forgive me, please, please forgive me

Holy Chattan

2010-07-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

and kallah. this feels surreal. bentch you...only tov upon you(r) love, wow, achi

levana shleima

2010-07-04T02:31:00.000-04:00

The moon is a full half tonight. Beautiful in its seeming incompletion, still sharing its loving light and iluminating the nighttime.

lone.

2010-05-11T18:12:00.006-04:00

some snippets from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. as if typing each loved letter gives credence to future forgot, ode to future emptiness and only more lone. saying drawn out goodbyes as I return my library books. c

She died calmly, and her countenance expressed affection even in death. I need not describe the feelings of those whose dearest ties are rent by that most irreparable evil, the void that presents itself to the soul, and the despair that is exhibited on the countenance. It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day nad whose very existence appeared a part of our own can have departed forever - that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed, never more to be heared.

A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquility. I do not thik that the pursuit of knowledge is an exceptions to this rule. If the sutdy to while you apply yourself has a tendency to weaken your affections and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly mix, then that study is certainly unlawful, that is to say, not befitting the human mind.

We passed a fortnight in these perambulations; my health and spirits had long been restored, and they gained additional strength from the salubrious air I breathed, the natural incidents of our progress, and the conversation of my friend.

Nothing is more painful to the human mind than, after the feelings have been worked up by a qauick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows and deprives the soul both of hope and fear.

We rest; a dream has power to poison sleep.
We rise; one wand'ring thought pollutes the day.
We feel, conceive, or reason; laugh or weep,
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away;
It is the same: for, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free.
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but mutability!

Of what a strange natureu is knowledge! It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death - a state which I feared yet did not understand.

Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed?

Pit In Stomach Day 2010.

2010-04-08T23:11:00.001-04:00

creating Freedom

2010-03-29T11:23:00.001-04:00

chag tov, einayim sgurim...ze magi'ah...cherut halayla!

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.

Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, "How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren't you good enough just as you are? Don't you know who you are?"

Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.

But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before...

~tzvi freeman

2010-03-28T16:00:00.002-04:00

emancipate yourself from mental slavery

none but ourselves can free our mind

won't you help to sing

this song of freedom...

b'ezrat hashem

rak TOV TOV TOV

a yud aleph nissan

2010-03-26T03:25:00.002-04:00

of truth roaming in the rain

alone

drifting

nowhere

breathing

gut yom tov

longing for spring

2010-03-21T13:18:00.002-04:00

Cultivate the soul with hope; teach it to await the break of dawn with longing eyes. Through its ordeals, the soul is softened to absorb the rains, but spring will only come to those that long for it.

And so the sages say, "In the merit of hope, our parents were redeemed from Egypt."

~tzvi freeman

but really, the truth is to allow time and space to bring new awarenesses to you, to allow what needs to happen to take place, and to long, yes, but also to allow the days and moments to embrace you with everything that they'll slowly, slowly, shwayeh shwayeh, bring...bezrat hashem.

it is so painful. but really, yihye tov. kvar tov, pashut kasheh me'od lirot. tzrichim leha'amin. leha'amin.

sprout and the bean

2010-03-19T11:04:00.003-04:00

(though that's another of her songs...)

And we were galloping manic to the mouth of the source...swallowing panic in the face of its force.

And I am blue..

ooh, na na na na na na na na na na na

Now it's done. Watch it go. You've changed some...water run from the snow.

Am I so dear?

Do I run rare?

And you've changed some..

peach, plum, pear

2010-03-18T18:42:00.003-04:00

There's also spring Bliss, not to be confused with spring Pain, though they're awfully similar. 'tis a weird season.

stupid sunshine

2010-03-18T16:31:00.005-04:00

It's like I'm angry at the sun and I love the sun, love it's warmth.

it makes no sense at all...

ILLE HIC EST RAPHAEL

2010-03-18T15:56:00.001-04:00

TIMUIT QUO SOSPITE VINCI RERUM MAGNA PARENS ET MORIENTE MORI.

Here lies that Raphael, by whom in life, the great begetter of things feared lest she be overcome,

And at whose death Nature herself feared lest she die with him.

Epitaph of Raphael

(and el)

sun with empty air

2010-03-18T15:53:00.006-04:00

In the early darkness of Greek winter afternoons, in rooms cold at the windows, I raise my hands to my face and smell Alex in my palms.

I long for memory to be spirit, but fear it is only skin. I fear that knowledge becomes instinct only to disappear with the body. For it is my body that remembers them, and though I have tried to erase Alex from my senses, tried to will my parents and Bella from my sleep, this will amounts to nothing, for my body betrays me in a second. I have lived many years without them. Yet it's the same winter afternoon that draws Bella close, so close I can feel her powerful hand on my own, feel her gentle fingers on my back, so close I can smell Mrs. Alperstein's lotion, so close I feel my father's hand and Athos's hand on my head and my mother's hands pulling down my jacket to straighten me out, so close I can feel Alex's arms reaching around me from behind, and upon me her maddeningly open eyes even as she disappears into sensation, and suddenly I'm afraid, and turn around in empty rooms.

~Anne Michaels

these days, these hours

even the re-awakened smell of eucalyptus and soup and spring refuse to soothe

also

2010-03-13T23:27:00.001-05:00

ur heart is a moon

a full one. a big fat white orange of a heart, moon.

(12.2.09. emails.)

can you feel the wind

2010-03-05T16:46:00.006-05:00

Can you feel the sigh of shabbos...

Can you feel the sighs of the six days of the week making place

for the sigh of shabbos

lecha dodi likrat kallah, pnei shabbat nekablah

hitoreri

breaths

2010-01-12T13:40:00.003-05:00

but then אסתר שמיר sings to us.

and then things aren't better, but they're just, well, they just are. they continue to be. and with them, we.

בת של אבא

2010-01-12T12:48:00.001-05:00

Baraka Bashad…

2010-01-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

…May the Blessings BE!!!

i'm gonna be your friend

frosty winter warmth

2009-12-20T11:37:00.000-05:00

and cider. :')

the sweetest thing i've in a while

2009-12-12T19:05:00.001-05:00

I need to get my heart moving so I don't have a heart attack when I see you..

شويه, شويه

2009-11-24T22:05:00.001-05:00

it's the only way to find higher ground

blesses abound :')

Kamala.

2009-11-23T22:47:00.004-05:00

No, Samana, I am not afraid. Has a Samana or a Brahmin ever feared that someone could come and strike him and rob him of his knowledge, of his piety, of his power for depth of thought? No, because they belong to himself, and he can only give of them what he wishes, and if he wishes. That is exactly how it is with Kamala and with the pleasures of love. Fair and red are Kamala's lips, but try to kiss them against Kamala's will, and not one drop of sweetness will you obtain from them- although they know well how to give sweetness. You are an apt pupil, Siddhartha, so learn also this. One can beg, buy, be presented with and find love in the streets, but it can never be stolen. You have misunderstood. Yes, it would be a pity if a fine young man like you misunderstood.

"Maybe," said Siddhartha wearily, "I am like you. You cannot love either, otherwise how could you practice love as an art? Perhaps people like us cannot love. Ordinary people can - that is their secret."

Siddhartha said:

2009-11-23T22:39:00.005-05:00

-- What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.

-- How is that? asked Govinda

-- When someone is seeking, said Siddhartha, it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving towards your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.

on communicating outside of the inside of your brain

2009-11-16T15:18:00.003-05:00

it's like you're having this conversation about him with yourself for a few hours and you bring him in in middle
it can be confusing
(y)

breath

2009-11-12T12:59:00.002-05:00

it's as if i'm writing from years later so far along over oceans and dead grassy hills and bare, flat mountains

why did i get here? why did i get here?

walk along this pebbled road with its rare sweetness but deep deep airlessness of the white gray sky on a day before friday in autumn

mmm learns

2009-10-18T21:40:00.001-04:00

love this:

Prajñāpāramitā Sutra:

Thus, O Sariputa, all things, having the nature of emptiness, have no beginning and no ending. They are neither faultless nor not faultless; they are neither perfect nor imperfect. In emptiness there is no form, no sensation, no perception, no discrimination, noconsciousness. There is no eye, no ear, no nose, no smell, no tastes, no touch, no mental process, no object, no knowledge, no ignorance. There are no Noble Fourfold Truths; no pain, no cause of pain, no cessation of pain, no Noble Path leading to the cessation of pain. There is no decay, and no death, and no destruction of the motion of decay and of death. There is no knowledge of Nirvana, there is no obtaining of Nirvana,there is no not obtaining of Nirvana.”

From John Ferguson, ed., Encyclopedia of Mysticism (New York, 1977), p. 139.

Do you think God flirts with us?

2009-10-13T13:44:00.000-04:00

(oh, y.r.)

hashem yishmor otach

2009-10-12T15:55:00.002-04:00

"G-d is just a merchant trying to sell Shabbos." R' Shlomele (RT elc. tx u without u even knowing :') )

Sometimes I lay under the moon, in my tent, on the farm I never got to, and thank G-d I'm feeling.

embers of y-e-s

2009-10-06T15:13:00.001-04:00

:') bless G-d.

haven't thought about this space for month

and it's not the three weeks

chan

walla. send

2009-09-03T00:00:00.002-04:00

I sent myself a text message the other day. It read:

Don't becomeo elitist in your non elitism :) remember that.

I should send it to myself again.

Homeless

2009-08-23T23:54:00.002-04:00

it takes a lot of strength to be weak ~mordechai

ל-י-א-ו-ר

2009-08-10T17:45:00.003-04:00

How many times can you hop in one half minute?

השכל

.שכל

Heroes

2009-08-10T17:44:00.002-04:00

I've never flown before in my life, and it shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

~zelig.

lalalalallala

2009-08-04T12:23:00.002-04:00

lalalalalallalallallalalala

lalallalalallalalalalalalala

lalallalallalalalallalallalal

lalalallalalalallalalla

lalallalallalallalallalallal

lalallalallalal

lalallalalalalllllalalallalallalala

lalallalalallalallalalalla

lalallalalallalalallala

lalallall

lalalallalallalallallalalallalallalla

lalallalal

lalallalalalla

lalallalalallalalla

lalalalla.

la.

lala

sd: and even though you think it's better without the last sentence and/or that I should end it with a question, I think it's perfect.

:')

Life hurts, Ronnie.

2009-06-22T05:09:00.001-04:00

yes. it can.

warmth to every creation, c

אתנחתא: periodicals reading room

2009-06-04T05:53:00.002-04:00

לפעמים אני לא מצליחה להבין באיזו מדינה אני נמצאת.

"ופה, זה לא חדר שינה. זה, חדר של למידה לא פורמלית."

פשוט צחוקים

it would be very nice.

2009-06-04T04:43:00.002-04:00

It would be very nice if there were a God who created the world and was a benevolent Providence, and if there were a moral order in the universe and an after-life; but it is a very striking fact that all this is exactly as we are bound to wish it to be.
Freud "The future of an illusion"

:)

goodbye academia? tear, tear.

?מי אתה

2009-05-31T04:39:00.003-04:00

I'm listening to this song on repeat in this awesome library, with an open tanach and tears in my eyes..

and a smile on my face.

One day...

"makes you bop your head and open your heart at the same time."

http://www.box.net/shared/8z3soaf5q2

to Y, bless bless bless you with so much love.

בוקר, כוכב, ומרג'ורי

2009-05-27T08:07:00.007-04:00

"I am not a concert pianist," snapped Mrs. Zelenko. "And that's why I can play Bach. When I play, it's as though Bach is listening, Bach himself, not twelve hundred yawning potbellied mink-coated perfumed idiots who don't know a piano from a ukulele."

"I love you. Don't you understand, you little torturer? You've executed the vengeance of your non-existent God on me."

-Do you think you'll marry again?
-No.
-That's nice and definite.
-Might as well live out the sunset this way.
-Sunset indeed! Thirty nine.
-I've outlived Keats, Mozart, Marlowe, Alexander the Great, and Jesus. I'm satisfied.

"Unfortunately, Marjorie, so far as I'm concerned, expressions like 'neurotic anxiety' are just educated noise. Who really knows what the affliction is, what it comes from, what it means? It's like a wart. You can describe it and you can treat it empirically, which is a three-dollar word for 'by guess and by God.' "

סטאשעשמיר and other painful spreads.

2009-05-19T13:45:00.004-04:00

Why is it that dogma lies so much deeper in people's brain than actual intelligence? And why is it so so so painful? And why is it so painful? Why, why, why. Why so? and why So? painful.

oh hell. oh slacking trousering pantful hell.

and return to your cardboard box. go, return, and die and die-live in your goddamned cardboard box.

"remember that your head is also part of your body. and so is your heart. and you're making strides."
"and you're making me cry."
bless you t.

:') bless.

sleeve s and thing s

2009-05-06T08:31:00.002-04:00

People keep getting engaged. NEW ENGAGEMENT. NEW ENGAGEMENT.

K'shemedabrim, k'shemishtamshim bemilim, hamamashi hofech lesimli. Zeh muzar. Afilu lichtov et zeh, zeh muzar.

Some people wear sleeves. Some sleeves wear people. Sleeves. Weary people. Wary people. Some sleeves ware weary people.

mm. he'eh, kol ha'inyan hu lishtot mashehu kar belev midbar

לשנוא בזריחה

2009-03-24T09:16:00.002-04:00

A man hates his enemy because he hates his own hate. He says to himself: This fellow, my enemy, has made me capable of hate. I hate him not because he's my enemy, not because he hates me, but because he arouses me to hate.

2009-03-16T18:15:00.001-04:00

I recently heard that fear and thankfulness cannot be present in the mind at the same time. I have yet to test this theory with my stage fright.

רקמה אנושית אחת חיה

2009-03-15T17:55:00.001-04:00

to sing, to sing.
oh why do people need to create issues from beautiful things?
yes, to sing. yes, to sing for all. with love, with heart.

and yes, those who have perished will listen.
plz, g-d. (or collective human consciousness.) whichever it is. :')

the point is that they will listen regardless of my name...
ואם אחד מאיתנו
הולך מעמנו
משהו מת בנו -
ומשהו, נשאר איתו

Bless G-d.

2009-03-01T11:25:00.001-05:00

It's all going to be ok. Even in a hobbit house. Especially in a hobbit house. It's going to be ok.

And soon times will come where we will sing and sweep and the sun will shine and yiddish melodies will be yamtareetareetaretareetareetamed.

Sometimes you just gotta hold your breath, and leap, and then breathe again. bless. It's gonna be ok :')

oh oh

2009-02-17T10:08:00.000-05:00

tomoz is another afternooon :')

puzzled

2009-01-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

Think of your world as a massive jigsaw puzzle in time and three dimensions. All the objects and events are meant to fit together neatly, yet they seem just a heap of dysfunctional fragments.

Here is the trick to reassembling those fragments: Find your own purpose first and start moving headstrong towards it. Once in that mode, all things related to your purpose will find you. And those things already attached to you will find their place as well. Suddenly, where once noise and chaos tore you in a thousand directions, a great symphony occurs.

daily dose.

Jan XII.

2009-01-12T21:39:00.003-05:00

airports.
haha
it's like a joke that's fake, except it's true.

stolen booze from .I.e.k: Absinthe makes the heart grow numb-er

ole.din.days :')

2009-01-12T03:39:00.001-05:00

good old blood drive movie times chuck luck
ha, wow. I couldn't do anything right...
Aidan Hawken - Shut Me Out

mis understood

2009-01-07T00:24:00.000-05:00

mis understand
mis c. bana.

the library is closed on Sundays :')

2009-01-04T14:24:00.001-05:00

"Effective immediately Brooklyn Public Library will be eliminating Sunday service. Please note that Sunday programs at Central Library's Dweck Center will take place as scheduled."

Sentimental public notices. Life is all about them.

יהיה טוב

2009-01-04T02:38:00.001-05:00

by David Broza

"V'yihye tov, yihye tov, ken
lifamim ani nishbar...:'(
az halayla
itach ani nish'ar."

is it possible to die of missingness?

2009-01-04T02:15:00.002-05:00

yes, I think.

hair is short. heart is broke. rock myself to sleep..
wtvr, hair grows back even after you're dead

night of Harps and Davita

2009-01-04T01:53:00.005-05:00

"I don't like anyone to be dead, Papa. It's like a big forest and it goes on and on and never ends."

It rained most of the night. I lay in bed and listened to the roar of the wind-lashed surf and wondered how far up the beach it was. I thought I could hear it just below the dunes, foaming and boiling and reaching for our cottage. My mother came into my room and held me and cradled me in her lap and sang to me softly in a language I did not understand. I fell asleep inside her warmth.

"Sometimes things happen to people and they change," my mother said.
"They do things they didn't do before?"
"Yes."

I found as the weeks went by and winter approached that my mother had been right: I was no longer clearly remembering the look and cut of my father's clothes. At times I could not even recall his face. My mother said that was natural; but it frightened me to be losing my memory of my father.

Religion is a dangerous fraud, Ilana, and an illusion. It prevents people from seeing the truth and expressing their discontent, and sometimes it inflames the heart so that people follow horrible ideas like fascism.

"I especially like the shul."
"Yes. I know."
"I like the singing."
She said nothing.
"I don't like the wall in the middle."

I had learned a strange lesson: walls are laws to some people, and laws are walls to others.

Do you wear your glasses when you read and write? Always remember to do that so you can see the world sharply and truthfully. Truth is often very painful, but it alone will save us. How is our little bird? Does it still nest peacefully in our harp? Ilana Davita, sooner or later birds grow weary and close their eyes. Some fall from the heavens while in flight, dropping like stones to the earth, others run into a mountain, a hour, a tree. Still others are caught in the talons of a bird of prey. And still others simply fall asleep, and sleep on and on and on.
Care for our bird and do not let is close its eyes. It is wrong to face this world with one's eyes closed, no matter how deep the weariness.

Good-bye, Davita. Be discontented with the world. But be respectful at the same time.

being un reason able

2009-01-02T11:02:00.004-05:00

I am. :')
and I know it. and still,
too
darn
bad,
hatatatatatata

the dayly doyse, what does he says? He says:

Three things you must know to be an adult:

Don't fool yourself.

Don't fool others.

Don't let others fool you.

-- and do it all without trying to impress anybody.

and c's brains. what does they says?
"v...'al yovad yisrael, ha-aah'o-oh-mrim shemah yisra-ah-el"

dangling dialogue

2008-12-31T10:53:00.003-05:00

-- How is your French? he asked
- Pretty good.
-- Read L'Homme Revolte by Camus. It came out last year. You can get it in French.
- We are reading the same books, I said. Then I said, Not everyone who resorts to violence is a fool. Remember the story of Abraham lopping off the heads of the idols.
-- Yes, he said. I can understand violence if a person makes a rational decision that his world is utterly evil and irredeemable and that nothing in it is worth saving.
- Not many people can make a decision like that rationally.
-- They ought to read some good books.
- Marx read a lot of good books.
-- Marx was full of rage. Books don't do much good when you're that full of rage.
- We're all full of rage. That's something I've begun to think about these days. Who isn't full of rage?
-- Yes. But most people manage in one way or another to handle it.
- Why are people so full of rage? How would your friend Freud answer that?
-- With a lecture on sex and repression, and by drawing you a model of the id, ego, and superego.
- Would it help?
-- To some extent. It would begin to teach you how to become aware of yourself. That's what the soul is, I think. Self-awareness.
- The soul.
-- The crust is self-delusion. The soul is self-awareness.
-And if you're rebelling and are full of rage and don't have that self-awareness - what then?

-- You become a Marx..

outside it all, watching

2008-12-31T10:48:00.003-05:00

Levi came over and asked me to join him in a dance. I got up and entered a circle of Hasidim with Levi at my side, and danced.

We danced around Danny, who stood clapping his hands and singing, and I looked at Danny and felt a part of myself slide out of the dance and look coldly at what I was doing, and heard it telling me how strange it was to be dancing with Hasidim, whose way of life I disliked, whose ideas were so different from mine, whose presence was destroying my world, I continued dancing, but for the rest of that night that part of me remained outside it all, watching.

-- familiarities on so many different levels. so many.
The most awesome is to slide out of the sliding out, and just be there.

in this moment

2008-12-31T10:35:00.002-05:00

I feel freee

to breathe

and fly

How incredible to see the tangle in all and still experience the faith of just
this moment.

:') blesss blesss blesss