face

straight black hair with a touch of gray, clear blue eyes, good nose, strong chin, tall, slender, and - Pappas paused in his inventory - most important of all, an intellectual face with just enough of a look of suffering to make it interesting.

yes - he concluded as they left the terrace - I would wager that she will like you.

haunt my soul, heal

heal rav menachem, hashem.

downupdownupdownupupupupup up

danceup move jump breathe UP

in

I was there, some (much) how

bless you, m, for sharing this in bits

soothe

me.

write me a love note to me on my leg about my being light for me and not ever being able to take that away

not even with soap

scrub

me

but memememememememememe

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

ich

ani

me, goddarnit

why are there so many parts, and why are those parts so blessed and light and fractured in this brilliant puzzle way that they fail to f-i-t in any one zone, on any one leg love note in pen

past shabbat of wonder-filled-ful

a list of catch upedness, so as not to forget, but also not misrepresent

the present

thank you for open channels that tighten the closed ones ever more so

thank you for prayer that lightliftshigher and i s o l a t e s

beyond what I -

I

who am I to

even

have a say

?

g(r)asping

at threads

(as if) (pretending)

beyond my reach

playing

(as if) (seducing)

that

within

my reach

(b)reach

no, truth,

prevail.

ברוך אתה ה

it was :')

ברוך אתה ה

הוא גיטרה, היא כינור

for normally deleted beauties. missing radioblog with their non-assuming sweet embeds.

alas.

leaves driven, and driven leaves

driven lives

leaf

life

leave.s.

man, it's been winter awhile.

parentheses

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_DTu4xmcWI

תָּאִיר כְּאוֹר יוֹם

חֶשְׁכַּת לַיְלָה

incredible how dark it's got to be to see some light. even daylight.

so many chanukah joy and pain filled songs to breathe, hear, sing.

קָרֵב יוֹם אֲשֶׁר הוּא לֹא יוֹם וְלֹֹא לַיְלָה,
רָם הוֹדַע כִּי לְךָ הַיוֹם אַף לְךָ הַלַּיְלָה,
שׁוֹמְרִים הַפְקֵד לְעִירְךָ כָּל הַיוֹם וְכָל הַלַּיְלָה,
תָּאִיר כְּאוֹר יוֹם חֶשְׁכַּת לַיְלָה

חנוכה מואר

truly, deeply

in light(ness)

אלא נסתר

casting away a diamond that was not yet mine. wheat, sustenance, it needs to be earned in order to feed me

מעיין חיי

בנקיק נסתר בצוקים

איילה שותה מים

מה לי ולה

אלא צוקי ליבי

אלא מעיין חיי

אלא נסתר

איילה מה לי ולה

אלא אהבתי

~ לאה גולדברג

.

to understanding.

days within my walls

כאן בין כל קירות ביתי
שתיקה גדולה

אפורה ומנחמת...

ואין משב סופה
ואין גשם שישטוף
ואין גם צוהר שיבהיל
ואין דבר אשר ישרוף את כל קירות ביתי
הכל הרי מוגן...

ואין כאב שיישאר
כי כל קירות ביתי
הם לובן מנחם
ואין כתמים של דם וחבלות
שריטות בלב...

אין באמצע...תנני לי ללכת

fall leaves

winter beckons

מי am i

;')

באת אלי את עיניי לפקוח.

היום

טוב,
ליל מנוחה וחלום, כבר מאוחר
ומחר נקום ונראה
איך שמגיע היום בסוף כל לילה.

at 1:00

טוב,
חושך נפל על הרחוב
רק הירח משאיר את אורו הצהוב
צרצר מצרצר צירצורו שר -
לילה טוב...

תקיעה

just seeing
looking
wide-eyed
happy-eyed
excited to be draft 2/14/08

דום

לשון המתנה
but don't rush, really. im in no rush.

דם
לדום

אהיה

?התשמע קולי

קול קורא בעוז קול בוכה בדמי

באהבה, בעוז, בשמחה
open eyes, looking forward
c

"חשכה בתורה"

חשכה בבכי

at midai basechel

	Bob Dylan - Let Me Die In My Footsteps .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

mah zeh hadavar hazeh, ani mitgaagat layeshiva
mitgaagat, mitahevet, mitalev, mitbalbelet, mitlabetet, mitgaagat
me'od
taasi shchuna

a serene day

of summer of white, plains high, lines world, cups and healthyish, mathematical talk that reminded my soul of imaginative other dimensions. truer, closer ones. plus surprise spontaneous hugs from precious sisters. thankful and thank you and im sorry, forgive me, please, please forgive me

Holy Chattan

and kallah. this feels surreal. bentch you...only tov upon you(r) love, wow, achi

levana shleima

The moon is a full half tonight. Beautiful in its seeming incompletion, still sharing its loving light and iluminating the nighttime.

lone.

some snippets from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. as if typing each loved letter gives credence to future forgot, ode to future emptiness and only more lone. saying drawn out goodbyes as I return my library books. c

She died calmly, and her countenance expressed affection even in death. I need not describe the feelings of those whose dearest ties are rent by that most irreparable evil, the void that presents itself to the soul, and the despair that is exhibited on the countenance. It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day nad whose very existence appeared a part of our own can have departed forever - that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed, never more to be heared.

A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquility. I do not thik that the pursuit of knowledge is an exceptions to this rule. If the sutdy to while you apply yourself has a tendency to weaken your affections and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly mix, then that study is certainly unlawful, that is to say, not befitting the human mind.

We passed a fortnight in these perambulations; my health and spirits had long been restored, and they gained additional strength from the salubrious air I breathed, the natural incidents of our progress, and the conversation of my friend.

Nothing is more painful to the human mind than, after the feelings have been worked up by a qauick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows and deprives the soul both of hope and fear.

We rest; a dream has power to poison sleep.
We rise; one wand'ring thought pollutes the day.
We feel, conceive, or reason; laugh or weep,
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away;
It is the same: for, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free.
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but mutability!

Of what a strange natureu is knowledge! It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death - a state which I feared yet did not understand.

Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed?

Pit In Stomach Day 2010.

creating Freedom

chag tov, einayim sgurim...ze magi'ah...cherut halayla!

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.

Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, "How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren't you good enough just as you are? Don't you know who you are?"

Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.

But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before...

~tzvi freeman

emancipate yourself from mental slavery

none but ourselves can free our mind

won't you help to sing

this song of freedom...

b'ezrat hashem

rak TOV TOV TOV

a yud aleph nissan

of truth roaming in the rain

alone

drifting

nowhere

breathing

gut yom tov

longing for spring

Cultivate the soul with hope; teach it to await the break of dawn with longing eyes. Through its ordeals, the soul is softened to absorb the rains, but spring will only come to those that long for it.

And so the sages say, "In the merit of hope, our parents were redeemed from Egypt."

~tzvi freeman

but really, the truth is to allow time and space to bring new awarenesses to you, to allow what needs to happen to take place, and to long, yes, but also to allow the days and moments to embrace you with everything that they'll slowly, slowly, shwayeh shwayeh, bring...bezrat hashem.

it is so painful. but really, yihye tov. kvar tov, pashut kasheh me'od lirot. tzrichim leha'amin. leha'amin.

sprout and the bean

(though that's another of her songs...)

And we were galloping manic to the mouth of the source...swallowing panic in the face of its force.

And I am blue..

ooh, na na na na na na na na na na na

Now it's done. Watch it go. You've changed some...water run from the snow.

Am I so dear?

Do I run rare?

And you've changed some..

peach, plum, pear

There's also spring Bliss, not to be confused with spring Pain, though they're awfully similar. 'tis a weird season.

stupid sunshine

It's like I'm angry at the sun and I love the sun, love it's warmth.

it makes no sense at all...