deferred. Defiant.

The battle rests.
And I cover my face with both hands and I laugh
and I laugh

and I laugh.

I'm soaking it up. The disappointment, the stupid-parade. So I let the tune carry me away... please G-d, find someone who... the silky harmonies enwrap my now cold shoulders, and the deep pit inside my chest feels pricked. And I bow my head forward, and then bring it up, and my eyes look straight ahead
at this screen
at these words, as they're coming up letter by l e t t e r
and theletterscomeatmequickly so I defer this composition.

I defer it until tomorrow.
I defer it all until this utter hilarity allows me to cry

until then
crylaugh nightday

Getting back.

to tears.

quietude

"There's a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in..." Leonard Cohen

Yud Gimmel Tammuz.

Release of all sorts.
http://video.on.nytimes.com/?fr_story=fd29f832301c39b513e868021acb32e80a26d881

rabbi nachman said to scream

speak of me as i am

Of one that lov'd not wisely but too well
~Othello

Days of Sun

I'm standing here. I'm holding my chin and rubbing my eyes.

I'm crying. Tears.

She stands one foot and a few inches behind me, to my left. She's crying, too. Tears, I think. Not sure, though.

It's me, and it's her, and it's as if we are strangers to one another. The fact that we rode here to the cemetery together doesn't change that. Nor does the fact that we will ride away together and get out at the same spot and that I'll be the one chopping up a salad to go with the fish she's marinating for dinner. None of it changes anything.

The girl in front of me is standing next to an older version of herself, and her hand slowly reaches up to rub the woman's back. Her mother leans in and tucks her head into the curve of her daughter's shoulder. Sobbing, holding, clinging to one another.

And I sob, and I sob, and I hold my head in my hands, and I spot my cousin whom I haven't seen in months, and collapse into her arms.

I hate it. I hate this. I hate that I'm here.

I hate that we aren't.

Sun day.

Too many words to describe something that doesn't even exist. ~

A d m a t a i.

out in the streets, they call it murder

pivotal.

Now, I pray every night that my children should grow up to a
Torah life,
Jewish marriage,
and good deeds. CBJordan

~blessings

and, so, too-face, also, though, but-book

it's in the title of my blog too.

if you've never noticed

;)

it's a little joke...e

but it has a lot of connotations

about the sillinesses and stupidities and just small tiny nuances-

that make up everything we are.

yknow?

Leave your thoughts.

in Side out

It has shown me...
...that everything is illuminated in the light of the past.
It is always along the side of us...
...on the inside, looking out.

Like you say, inside out.



(start wearing purple, wearing purple.. :'D)

. 

in Case

Why did she bury it?
I do not know.
Ask him.
She wants to know why Augustine buried her wedding ring...
...when she thought she would be killed.
So there'd be proof that she existed?
To remember her.
No. I don't think so.
In case...
In case someone should come searching one day.
So they would have something to find.
No, it does not exist for you.
You exist for it.
You have come because it exists.

capitalization punctuation

Have a cocoa bar.

...the color of this blog changes as I scroll down...up here, it's so misrepresentin.

The white changes. It goes from reddish bluish to greenish purplish to a warm
yellow

Bless the yellow :')

cab(s) for a Heart Squeeze

by death cab(s) for cuties.

to strength.

lift your head

Whenever a G-dly act is performed, all involved are elevated beyond time.
Save a life--you are Noah saving the entire world. Feed weary travelers--they are the angels coming to visit Abraham and Sarah. And Abraham and Sarah are hosting them with you. In fact, all those who had truth in their lives are here with us today.

It is only that we are so much a part of this river of time, we cannot lift our heads to see above it.

Only when the falseness of the world will be ripped away and all is elevated to a place of truth, then we shall all see each other, together once again.

Many are my thoughts.*

But as G-d says: Rabot Machshavot B'lev Ish, V'atzat Hashem Hee Takum. Many are the thoughts in the heart of man, and G-d’s counsel is: Get up.

*but not mine. stolen. without permission, even. = (

life, life

it's worth living just to experience the doubt which makes it feel so real.
~ chan a

you're a Warrior

A warrior of the light always does something out of the ordinary. He may dance in the street as he walks to work. Or look into the eyes of a stranger and speak of love at first sight. From time to time, a warrior puts forward an idea which may sound ridiculous, but which he believes in.

The warriors of the light allow themselves such days.