oh G-d

I want to learn and know

and see and understand

and realize and live

and belong. Okay?

:* :* :*

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's sukkkkoT!!!!!!!!!

being farrer

It isn't silly that when someone we love is going away- we'll call them on the telephone to say goodbye before they go, even if we haven't seen them in a few days or won't see them for a week were they gonna be in town...
Because somehow, even when you're only talking on the telephone, you can feel when someone is right there or if they're farrer away. Not in their voice, cuz you're close in heart and the voice isn't changing. But just in the air. The air feels different when some people are farrer.

Here's Adiemus because it's in my head and I'm trying to go to sleep. Also, I feel like I have sunglasses on top of my head, but it's three-fifteen in the ay ehm and I do not have sunglasses on top of my head. Also, look up lyrics to Adiemus and sing along.

purple times

:') and sweet shoulder shrug

Little Kite

this blog is energyless, lifeless, boring like hell and i need to learn more
so strange how people and things and songs and loves and pain and a cold can twine up all mushed together to make up life

Little kite tell me, for I cannot fly, can you see distant oceans and mountains so high? But most of all, tell me, for I cannot see, is there a G-d in heaven, does he know of me?

...Can't you see little boy? There's nothing up there...
maybe one day I'll see with my mind...

Little kite tell me, why I've been so blind, using my eyes, oh, in place of my mind? For though I can't see you I do understand... you're tugging and pulling the string in my hand... ur tugging and pulling the string in my hand

If you need a job to give you a life, you either need a new job or a new life.

may your year be...

lovely... with all its connotations
Gmar Chasima Tova

i have been so tired

the Iliad, Achiles, Chrysies, Appolo, Athene, aegis, seige, war, wrath, women, defeat, death

the Tempest, sonnet, chess, cheap dates, Shakespeare, Petrarch, Laura, Laurel, laurel-tree, a'laura, the breeze, love, dark beauties, young man, marry, Mirando, Ariel, Prospero, Caliban, love, love, love, "Farewell, thou art too dear for my possessing."

Mesopatamia, Egypt, Sumer, Akkadia, Hammurabi, Gilgamesh, Ur, Abraham, saddupu, Khufu, Ramses, benai Yisrael, Mari, suzerian-vassal, ten commandments, Ahur, Assyria, Ezra, Cyrus cylinder, Ninevah, Yonah, Lefkowitz, culture, Africa, Alexandreian, women librarian, Septuagint, peri-hupsos, sublime, mezuzah, transcending, Seer haYashar, Milhamot Hashem...

Herodotus, Arch of Titus, lydion, frigeon, dorian, myxlodian, corinthean, Egypt Greece Rome, rigid-flowing-real, Lystrata, feminism, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, 4 causes, Rambam, efficient, formal, material, teleological, logic, syllogisms, Lefkowitz, pythagorean, GRA, virtue, mean, Rabbi Akiva, sphere of action, greek music, Anderson

Plato, Plato, Plato, Republic, justice, virtues, education, plato plato plato plato, gold silver bronze, republic, justice, debate, virtues, plato plato Plato. Machiavelli:')

it's been a bit of a long day.

to Me...

The title of this whole poem is actually 'to You.'
I like my title better, just cuz.

Stranger, if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak with me,
why should you not speak to me?
And why should I not speak to you?
~Whitman

For all those wondering, there ain't no moon in FL, but there're many, many stars...

Also, the moon here in NY looks so perfect tonight, that you almost have to believe there's a little person up there, cradled in its soft curve of soft light, holding a fishing rod...lying dreamily.
ah, the moon is one love I doubt I shall ever get over...

an oddly horrible day

I've never had such a horrible day, one when I've felt such a want for dancing. Not the ordinary silly kind, but the old jolly tottering of the black and white day. With a full prettied gown with a whole bunch of layers, and dark curls piled high in a tall lovely bonnet. When a nod and a curtsy were a manner of speech and dancing, oh dancing.. being asked to a dance by a handsome young man, all made up in his marvelous suiting, being lost in the swirl of dresses and curls.. the dancing.. the dancing.. the murmurs, the silent love.. in the dancing.
Somehow this want had led me to accent my speech and totter my walk into one of a swaying sort; it's made me hold my head in somewhat of a tilt and it's made me curtsy unnecessarily. It's made me jolly, in an odd sort of way.

"Oh if you'd want to be so refined, you'd have to be dead. There's no one as dignified as a mummy."
~Pride and Prejudice (a most delightful viewing when seen in the original Nineteen-Forty theatrical exhibition)

a message for dreams

Amid all the blessings for health and clarity and joy and wonderful things, I got a text message that hoped for all my dreams to come true.

'may you be blessed with health and happiness. may all your dreams come true. happy rosh hashana.'

Erev RH

'There are things that are important for us, so we speak about them. There are things very important to us -- and so words flow out from us, bursting with emotion, meaning and depth.

And then there are things that shake us to the core. The core of our being does not wait for the mind's permission or for the right words -- there are no words that can contain it. It breaks out in a cry, in a scream and in silence.

This is the sound of the shofar..'

ah gut gebentched yuhr to you. gut gebentched where the gut is right out there for you to touch.. and be thankful for.. happiness.. and peace.. inside your brain.. and inside your heart. and happiness beyond the happiness and peace.. inside your heart. Shana Tova.

Touch, me

I want to capture it,
me
I want to capture what it is that I am
and bottle me up,
and without speech and without words,
I want to capture this moment of me.
when I can thank, with breath stopping tears
when I can float into the colorless gaping hole of awareness.
I can see who I am
I can cry; I can be the happiest I've ever been
I saw me tonight.

Can you draw a crooked line?

still on the trains...

for those who were keepin up:
Maybe because people like the way whiskey is spelled with an E and vowels are our friends...

and for all those that wanted to know, they are "established since" some point in time.

Maybe because whiskey is the nectar of the Gods right after wine and milk and maybe honey...
-------
I learned today that technology will not make me happy. I should get used to being depressed.
And that judgment derived from ignorance is meaningless. didja hear that? meaninggggless. ah. o.

I couldn't not post this. Also, I'll delete and replace with one I like even better tomorrow. :') anzhwa Maria Callas...

and G-d bless yes (as in not the opposite of no, but yes as in the plural of ye.)who share useful youtube links.

aspiring to Love

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved.

o, Rock me mama

cuz i needa be rocked. serzzz

I shall never forget how I was roused one night by the groans of a fellow prisoner, who threw himself about in his sleep, obviously having a horrible nightmare. Since I had always been especially sorry for people who suffered from fearful dreams or deliria, I wanted to wake the poor man. Suddenly I drew back the hadn which was ready to shake him, frightened at the thing I was about to do. At that moment I became intensely conscious of the fact that no dream, no matter how horrible, coulde be as bad as the reality of the camp which surrounded us, and to which I was about to recall him.

In my life.

H H O L EEEEEE SSSSS
H H O O L E S
HHHHH O O L EEEE SSSS
H H O O L E S
H H O O LLLLLL EEEEEE SSSSSS

in my life.

hu yevarech et hechatan ve'et hakalla.
mi adir al hakol? who are you? where are you?

Proper Novels

and no, I am not blogging the whole book... I'm done. this is from page 4.

I do not like proper novels. In proper novels people say things like, "I am veined with iron, with silver and with streaks of common mud. I cannot contract into the firm fist which those clench who do not depend on stimulus." What does this mean? I do not know. Nor does Father. Nor does Siobhan or Mr. Jeavons. I have asked them.

maths.

Mr. Jeavons said I liked maths because it was safe. He said I liked maths because it meant solving problems, and these problems were difficult and interesting but there was always a straightforward answer in the end. And what he meant was that maths wasn't like life because in life there are no straightforward answers in the end. because in life there are no straightforward answers in the end. and that's not a bad thing. or a good thing. it's just a thing. it's life. and in life, there are no straightforward answers in the end.

bye bye love, Summer '07

So the song is sad, but the spot in time it takes me back to brings a loving, happy feeling to my heart.

It's so strange that I'm gonna close my eyes now, after one of the most memorable days of summer...filled with such carefree joy...my last day in Summer.
It's over now; holiday's past. School year is up and it'll be filled with ahhhhh,
New people, new place, new loves, new learning, new joys!
New friends, new struggles, new notebooks:)
I'm so happy, so lucky, so blessed. really really, only clarity and joy filled growth for all you this year. hope for it:) gutte nacht! :')

mhmm, Money is Everything

and I say downpressor man, where you gonna run to?

So, here's what I think.


mm. oh, gosh, when you're older, you'll understand.