I want to capture it,
me
I want to capture what it is that I am
and bottle me up,
and without speech and without words,
I want to capture this moment of me.
when I can thank, with breath stopping tears
when I can float into the colorless gaping hole of awareness.
I can see who I am
I can cry; I can be the happiest I've ever been
I saw me tonight.
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4 comments:
Its a good feeling..
even if its fleeting..
Ksiva Vchasima Tova..
It's a good feeling..
because it's fleeting..
Ksiva Vchasima Tova..
at the risk of putting in my tne cents when it's not even worth anickel since i have much stdy to do..
from what i've read of tanya and other mussar...
the struggle for happiness and a hig madrega is constant. while some religions sell enlightentment judaism understands that all throo life you can rise and fall (tanya)
the sould comes into ths wrld kicking and screaming, it would be mch ahppier with out the tests and limitations of a body but this is part of the test(mesilas yesharim)
olma haba is static it is there that we cannot go up or down, in olam hazeh an emotion, something said, something heard is passing fleting and we have to just roll onto the next moment and try an learn from the last. this actually doesn't relate to much to ur poem more david's comment and ur repsonse.
as someone who has suffered from depression and suicdal thoughts it is nice to realise that my soul kind of does wish it was dead. to die in a kiddush hashem is a very nice way to get an easy passage to gan eden but the ribbono shel olam has decided we silly souls must struggle in these last days tested constantly. i also cried for the frist time in a long time in kirias shema mon night, then tues night i was dissapointed i couldn't reacxh the same emotion.
at this time of year we are looking to build from this year to the next that we should continue on an upward spiral. mitzvah goreret mitzvah. he who does not increase his torah learning decrease it.
but we can't capture ourselves in an instamatic camera. sometimes life sucks and then hakdaosh boruch hu make us see why it was necessary. we have to continually struggle to grow. if you stop moving you don't get to a destination even if ur not going backward per se.
wishing you simcha v'bracha v'hatzlacha in all ur endevaours.
and sorry if this comment turned into self therapy throo the boing:)
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