יט כסלו ירושלים

i want nothing

איד וויל ניט דיין ג"ע

איך וויל ניט דיין עוה"ב

איך וויל מער ניט אז דיך אליין

הודו לה כי טוב

שערי צדק בית הרחמים

אני ה

וכתבינו איי בספר החיים

איי איי אייייייי למענך אלוהים

חיים

לרפואה שלימה לרב מנחם יהושוע בן לאה רייזל

דין ורחמים...למחוא כפיים

תפילה

להגיע לרחמים

~ ר"ח כסלו

tears of a phoenix

fly
spread your wings
my love.
cry
my tears, my
gentle breath
is yours
if
you'll have it

funniest old findings

Writing is hard in the springtime

heart open running free wild, that

confining my fingers

to sport that lingers just

right above paper is close

to sinful

Alas

air's fresh

earth's breathing

drop your pen, jump in sweet flight

open

up

loosen

close

eyes

groovin

the sky will be ok without the clouds

Blue blue child, the green and purple's open

and yellow is coming to share her cupcakes

with you

Rainbow color-ed sprinkles sprawl in fluffy white

frosting

pinky cotton marshmallows

wave,

hello

in the shadow of

The key, I believe, is to make ourselves lighter, less thick, more apt to transmit divine light. The weight of cynicism and pretense would have to be cast off. Instead, we should show our true faces. In brief, we owe it to Heaven to give of ourselves, to such an extent that we disappear a bit. The idea is to come to a point that we diminish our presence in such a manner as to thin the air, to the point that the divine reality outshines the false beauty of the idol.

~ The Possible Man: Meir Michel Abehsara

in ode to unhealthy breaky in suns. bless. sweet. choco chip. u.

baby lady miracles

open

pure

good(nesses)

ohpen

miracle

open(ing)(s)

(with)in(side)

ah!

:')

ah tatteh

non-ess-ish

sweet

love-light

(ulai)?

ulai, ulai tirkod iti

flow mo(ve)ments

for one month I read torah

for one month I sketched, things

for one month I took out my headphones

(well, more like a year)

for one month I watched

(perhaps all my life)

for these few weeks I danced

(I felt your music)

for one month I drank coffee

for eight months I worked

I craved (study)

I waited, I longed (for someone?)

I smiled (was at ease)

I rode a roller coaster (with loops, I tell ya)

I trusted, I never trusted

I did both (at once)

silence. noise

leave her alone (and)

embrace her (now)

Hold me closer tiny dancer..don't count headlights..you had a busy day today..

"What goes around comes around. Today, you help me..one day, someone else'll help you.. So please, if you'd like to make a purchase, or a small donation..."

[Trail off subway. Close curtains.]

לומדים לשתוק, ושוכחים שגם צריך

לדבר

לפעמים

ולא הרבה

אבל צריך

אלא אם מתפוצצים קודם

it's like

maybe if i don't speak

it'll be like i don't exist

אכסוף

this nigun changed my life...and life...

is ever changing

rak brachot alechem...

tamid

shabbat

ahava

frame the halves

there's nothing more whole...

hinei

ani matchila lishmoa

...

ha'tze'adim shel Rabbi Shimon

!

your words are poetry

yuknow?

האמת היא, לא היה קשור נשיקה או פרפר

היתה פה הבנה בשתיקה

שרק עולה כשנותנים לשתיקה לדבר

being here

is notedly different than

being back

thank gd

פרידה

מה זאת היתה

אם רק נשיקת פרפר

וגם זאת היתה מספיק להבין

מה היה

ואולי יותר

בלי קליפות עם קליפות לחיים ולברכה.

עד דלא ידע

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,

there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense.

~Rumi

Perhaps Purim is testimony to that space...beyond the structures of the world, where evil is blessed and good is cursed, where evil and good aren't opposing forces, but are all simply elements of atzmut... and that, there is emet.

And that is why this olam is an olam of sheker, because it is a structure bearing false testimony to its essence, hiding behind dichotomies of good and evil...

On Purim we're encouraged to tap into that emet, to realize that essentially, the dichotomy set up in this world is only one layer of existence, and while that duality is necessary for this world to exist (and even for us to dance with the idea that truth exists)...it is not the essence of what is really at the core of our cosmos. At the core is emet, כחשיכה כאורה...where what we call "good" and "bad" are merely all part of the big, wild, infinite blur of atzmut.

Interesting.. the words עד דלא ידע. It seems that we are being called to lose the יודעת part of us, the self, the conscious, the me that wants to know, in order to understand. We are called to enter a space that is beyond the limited consciousness that relies on structure in order to exist...

to frolic in that grass beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, where even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense...

ז' אדר

sadness doesn't need to mean heaviness

ode to a Pur sheHu Goral

to nights of mo(u)rning

and missingness of

then

now

tomorrow

lchaim ulivracha

lchaim ulivracha!

שר לבדו

חופים הם לפעמים געגועים לנחל.
ראיתי פעם חוף
שנחל עזבו
עם לב שבור של חול ואבן.
והאדם, והאדם הוא לפעמים גם כן יכול
להישאר נטוש ובלי כוחות
ממש כמו חוף.

גם הצדפים
כמו חופים, כמו הרוח
גם הצדפים הם לפעמים געגועים
לבית שתמיד אהבנו
אשר היה ורק הים
שר לבדו שם את שיריו.

כך בין צדפי ליבו של האדם שרים לו נעוריו.

~נתן יונתן

arik ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMLs_0XgC5I&tracker=False

orig ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZNEBp2_x0Y&tracker=False

achen, hadma'ot bikshu et chava alberstein

a-malek

But the Romans had not reckoned with the sun.

Each morning it rose, brighter and hotter than the day before.

manto.

Yet, she had wanted him - of that he was certain.

In his life he had known dutifulness, remote yearnings, but never, until that afternoon, the full awakening of passion and a gratification which had left him fulfilled yet still avid. Meantime, fragments of epigram and doctrine, the splinters of the hard old morality of his youth pricked at his fevered conscience.

-----------

Then in the fierceness of his need, there came to him from the vanished yesterdays of his youth verses instinct with an understanding softer than the sharp-lined wisdom of the Greeks. And never had he wanted so desperately to believe as in this hour when she leaned upon a faith he did not possess.

Holding her to himself he spoke of the gentle Shepherd Who leads men beside still waters causing them to walk unhurt through the valley of the shadow, Who cannot be fled, not in the grave, not even if one were to take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea.

She listened and like a child, insatiable of some marvelous tale and reluctant of slumber, asked for more.

My heart is not haughty he quoted nor mine eyes lofty. Neither do I exercise myself in things too great, too wonderful for me. Surely I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a child with his mother, like a child is my soul within me.

With that Manto's body sagged in his arms and, after a moment, muffled sobs escaped him.

face

straight black hair with a touch of gray, clear blue eyes, good nose, strong chin, tall, slender, and - Pappas paused in his inventory - most important of all, an intellectual face with just enough of a look of suffering to make it interesting.

yes - he concluded as they left the terrace - I would wager that she will like you.

haunt my soul, heal

heal rav menachem, hashem.

downupdownupdownupupupupup up

danceup move jump breathe UP

in

I was there, some (much) how

bless you, m, for sharing this in bits

soothe

me.

write me a love note to me on my leg about my being light for me and not ever being able to take that away

not even with soap

scrub

me

but memememememememememe

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

ich

ani

me, goddarnit

why are there so many parts, and why are those parts so blessed and light and fractured in this brilliant puzzle way that they fail to f-i-t in any one zone, on any one leg love note in pen

past shabbat of wonder-filled-ful

a list of catch upedness, so as not to forget, but also not misrepresent

the present

thank you for open channels that tighten the closed ones ever more so

thank you for prayer that lightliftshigher and i s o l a t e s

beyond what I -

I

who am I to

even

have a say

?

g(r)asping

at threads

(as if) (pretending)

beyond my reach

playing

(as if) (seducing)

that

within

my reach

(b)reach

no, truth,

prevail.

ברוך אתה ה

it was :')

ברוך אתה ה

הוא גיטרה, היא כינור

for normally deleted beauties. missing radioblog with their non-assuming sweet embeds.

alas.

leaves driven, and driven leaves

driven lives

leaf

life

leave.s.

man, it's been winter awhile.

parentheses

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_DTu4xmcWI