Monday, February 4, 2013

secret life bees, the of

Some people have a sixth sense, and some are duds at it. I believe I must have it, because the moment I stepped into the house I felt a trembling along my skin, a traveling current that moved up my spine, down my arms, pulsing out from my fingertips. I was practically radiating. The body knows things a long time before the mind catches up to them. I was wondering what my body knew that I didn't.
- - -
It was the in-between time, before day leaves and night comes, a time I've never been partial to because of the sadness that lingers in the space between going and coming.
- -
I am?
Yes, you are, because as long as people have been on this earth, the moon has been a mystery to us. Think about it. She is strong enough to pull the oceans, and when she dies away, she always comes back again. My mama used to tell me Our Lady lived on the moon and that I should dance when her face was bright and hibernate when it was dark.
There's a fullness of time for things, Lily. You have to know when to prod and when to be quiet, when to let things take their course.
It was like I was wearing a pair of gloves with magic properties. Like I could preserve whatever I touched.
When you're unsure of yourself, she said, when you start pulling back into doubt and small living, she's the one inside saying - get up from there and live like the glorious girl you are, - she's the power inside you, you understand?
- -
She's a year younger than me. I always picture her like is in the photograph in his office, holding hish hand, jumping a wave. I keep my mother's things on a special shelf in my room, and I let Becca look at them but not touch. One day I will let her pick them up, since it seems that's what a girlfriend would do. the feeling that they are holy objects is already starting to wear off. Before long I'll be handing Becca my mother's brush, saying - here, you wanna brush your hair with this -- you wanna wear this whale pin?

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